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Friday, November 15, 2013

Confused

I think I'm going through a mid-midlife crisis. I'm 20 and a single mom still living with my parents. So needless to say I'm struggling to save money and get my own place. So that's frustrating as well as putting in enough time with home/work/studying. My grades are wavering and it worries me about the future I can set up for my daughter. I don't want her to look back and think that I couldn't provide for her or that she was a burden. No child should think this. I'm also at a impasse in my personal relationship. The man that I've been dating and I are speaking about moving in together. Him out from the apartment he shares with the mother of his child and me from my parents. This would mean a 45 min less commute for me but finding childcare (which I've looked into a possible found cheap). It would also mean a huge step in a relationship that is only a few months old. I am worried in this because this is the first relationship for either of us since our respective ex's. I love him and I trust him completely. But.. there's also a but with me. I always feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop because it tends to in my life. I know that he is far better choice than my past domestic violent relationships but the cold feet are still present. I'm worried this amount isn't normal and my subconscious is trying to tell me something. I'm not scared of his interaction with my daughter because he is great with both his own son and her.